The Sunshine In Room 296
by JaneyKatherineHummingbird
Summary: Dr. McCoy fills in on the cancer floor and meets a delightful patient by the name Jim Kirk. (Fem!Bones/Kirk) Sick Jim AU.
1. Chapter 1

His was the third room on the left of the long-term care wing, where most patients were merely living out the rest of their lives, knowing there was nothing that could save them now.

Jim Kirk, however, was said to be different. He was a case that hadn't been declared terminal yet, even though the outlook was rather grim. None of the nurses ever said it to Jim, though, because they didn't want to see his sunshine spirit dampened unless there was an absolute certainty he wouldn't survive.

Dr. Leah McCoy though it was ridiculous that they let him cling to false hope, but what did she know? She was just filling in for a few weeks while Dr. Uhura took maternity leave. All the nurses seemed to love him as they'd all mentioned to her what a sweetheart he was.

With a sigh, she knocked on his door and entered the room where a much younger man than she'd expected was reading off of a PADD. It always made her ache a little to see people barely in the prime of life with such serious illnesses, but she didn't dare dwell too much on it, otherwise it made her job even harder.

"James Kirk?" She asked, clutching the chart with his information on it. His head popped up and big blue eyes in a pale, but finely shaped face looked at her curiously before crinkling in a smile. "Yep, that's me. You the new doc?"

She nodded. "I'm Dr. Leah McCoy and I'm going to be filling in for Dr. Uhura for the next few weeks. I've already heard plenty about you from the nurses."

James chuckled sheepishly, adjusting the yellow beanie cap that covered his bald head. He had been fighting a tumor around his spine that was inoperable and had not been responding to treatments recently.

"I guess I just have natural charm, Dr. McCoy. Please, call me Jim. He held out a hand and she shook it, noting the strength still there.

"Well, Jim, how're you finding your hospital care?"

"It's not bad, except for chemo. I finally feel better after the last round, and then it's time for another one." He made an annoyed face.

"It gets a little absurd when people came in here with long faces acting like I'm going to drop dead any second. They all say I'm in denial, but I'm not ready to give up yet. I refuse to believe in no-win scenarios."

"That's not always a bad thing, Jim," Leah said, checking his vitals and writing down observations. "This can be a depressing place and it's good for us to see a cheery face on our rounds. You get a lot of visitors?"

"Not really," Jim admitted a little sadly. "My family's either dead or too far away to come. Sometimes Gaila will wheel me to Kevin's room and we'll watch a game together. However, a pretty new doctor is a nice consolation."

Ignoring the flirtatious comment, Leah got down to business. "How's your back feeling? Pain levels? And don't lie to me, young man. I'm experienced at seeing through white lies."

Leah put her hands on her hips and inspected him. There definitely was a tightness around his eyes that gave it away.

"Young man? You don't look old enough to be calling me that," Jim responded cheekily.

Leah flushed. She certainly FELT old these days, with the stress of her job and being a single mother. She began to understand what the nurses meant by Jim being their favorite.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Jim", she said abruptly. "According to your history, I'm six years older than you, but evading won't work on me. Now tell the truth. That's the best way for me to be able to help you."

He sighed. "Yeah, it's about a six. I never could fool Uhura either."

"Good," Leah said calmly. Your job is not to fool us to look tough, it's to tell us exactly what hurts so we can make it better."

She adjusted his meds accordingly and Jim soon relaxed a bit.

"Ahh. That's better, thanks. I don't like to make a big deal about it. You guys have enough to do already."

Leah looked at him: his expressive face, the sparkling eyes, the firm jaw, the garish yellow hat with a black Starfleet symbol crocheted on it and her heart cracked a little. She couldn't get emotionally invested, no matter how precious Jim was. It would only hurt more when he died. She'd seen his prognosis and it wasn't good: the cancer was starting to spread despite the treatments.

"So, you know someone in Starfleet?" She asked casually.

"Yeah," Jim said with a smile. "My godfather, Admiral Christopher Pike. I was going to be a Starship captain just like him before I got sick. He's promised me a tour of the Enterprise when it gets back."

"Hmm. You one of those crazy space-loving kids?" She questioned with a shudder.

"Of course, space is fascinating: All that vastness and strange new worlds just waiting to be explored"

Jim exclaimed with enthusiasm. His eyes glowed even brighter as he expounded on the wonders of space exploration and warp speed.

"Kid, do you not realize Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence?" She queried in disbelief.

"One crack in the hull and your blood boils. And what if you get sucked into space? Instant ice cube. I've heard catching Andorian Shingles or Cardassian Pox is no joke, either."

She applied several hypos while she talked, Jim wincing at each one, but shaking his head at her griping.

"So, I take it you're not the adventurous type, Dr?" He asked in some amusement.

"Nope," she responded shortly. "Raising a daughter alone and working long hours is adventure enough for me, especially since her bum father ran off and left me with nothing but my bones."

"Aww, man, that's rough, Bones," he said sympathetically. "Man must have been a fool."

"He was, unfortunately," Leah confirmed. "Now, Jim, I need you to take a deep breath for me."

The next time she saw Jim, he was wearing an even more ridiculous blue jester-style hat that had three long floppy points with bells on the tips. It was so absurd, she stopped to stare in amazement. Her patient was toying with a collection of model starships and seemed as happy as a boy as he enacted a mock battle. He looked more like 12 than 25 right then and it made her cynical heart soften just looking at him.

"Hey, Bones," he greeted with a smile. "Come to shoot me full of hypos again?"

"Only a couple this time, you infant." She rolled her eyes. "Nice hat, by the way."

"Thanks," Jim smirked. "I've been told it matches my eyes. He winked at her shamelessly and her heart did a little flip.

Normally, a patient with Jim's energy and spirits wouldn't need to be admitted quite yet, but the tumor had rendered his legs nearly useless.

Leah knew It must frustrate an active person like him to be stuck in a hospital bed, but he did a good job of hiding it.

At the moment, Jester Jim was busy holding up each ship and explaining its type and historical significance to Starfleet.

"This is the NX-01 Enterprise that was around for the founding of the Federation and this is the USS Kelvin-my parent's old ship that got destroyed by Nero. Dad steered the ship into a collision so the shuttles could get away. I was born just seconds before he died saving us."

Leah's eyes bugged hearing his story. "George Kirk was your Dad?"

Jim turned the mini ship over in his hands, gazing at the saucer section wistfully.

"Yes. I'm the Kelvin Baby and it's been nothing but a nuisance," he sighed, wrinkling his small, round nose. "When I first got sick, I was besieged by people trying to make a connection between the cancer and me being born in a shuttle. I don't care how it happened, I just want it gone."

The tone of his voice betrayed his inner turmoil and Leah felt a deep sympathy for the man.

"You're a fighter, James T. Kirk," she assured him. "There are researchers working to advance techniques all the time. Maybe they'll find a way to take out tumors that used to be inoperable."

"Maybe." Jim said. "I know Uhura's husband is working hard to figure it out. He's a genius oncologist and researcher, even if he's as dry as sawdust, but he's a great guy once you get to know him. I've learned a lot about Vulcans and Romulans and their scandalous pasts."

Leah found the "great guy" part hard to believe. Spock aggravated her beyond all reason and she'd known him for five years. Part of it was because he was almost always right, darn him, and the other part was he was so smug about it. She didn't know how Uhura put up with him without going insane, but she couldn't deny they were sweet together and their newborn daughter was adorable.

"I see you don't believe me, but trust me, he does have a soft side," Jim said. "Every time he comes to visit he brings me a weird hat for my collection." He pointed to the blue monstrosity on his head. "This is one of his recent finds. I love it."

Leah shook her head in amazement as she left Jim's room. Even the cool, aloof Spock had fallen under Jim's spell. Would wonders never cease?

Unfortunately, Jim had his chemo treatment the following day and was a pale, miserable, ghost when she went to check on him.

"Hi, Jim," she whispered, seeing how wiped out he was. The blue eyes fluttered open slightly, dark rings underneath them showing Jim's exhaustion. He clutched a bowl to his side in case of vomiting, which frequently happened after a treatment.

"Bones," he croaked out, "nice of you to drop by. I'm not the best company right now, I'm afraid. You look amazing in white, by the way." His eyes admired her fancy white scrubs and Leah blinked back tears.

"Thank you," she blurted out then remembered the delivery she'd been tasked with. "I brought something that might cheer you up a bit, Kirk. Joanna drew you a picture."

She held out the crayon drawing her daughter had made for "the nice lonely man at the hospital." It was a man in a yellow command shirt sitting on the captain's chair of a starship. Planets and comets could be seen out the window and various stick figures in blue and red uniforms were shown bustling around the bridge.

"I told her you liked starships and she drew this."

Jim smiled weakly and made a pleased noise.

"That's wonderful," he managed to whisper. "Tell her I love it. She seems like a sweet girl. I bet she gets her brains from you."

"Oh, she is and yes, she did," Leah responded proudly. "She's always making stuff to cheer people up. She'll ask me I'm thinking about finding her an art teacher, she's so interested in it."

While she talked, she carefully checked him over, concern for him warring with the logical mind that said this was normal for such aggressive treatment and would ease up in a few days.

The hat of choice today was a very soft looking stocking hat in a steel grey color with black stripes near the edges. "That looks comfy," she commented, as she finished her duties. Jim nodded blearily.

"S'my cozy hat. I save it for dire necessities or when I'm really cold. Doesn't it flatter my rugged good looks?" He tried a smirk which didn't quite succeed and Leah snorted.

"Your ego hasn't been damaged yet, that's clear. Rest well, Jim. Let's hope this round wipes out a bunch of that nasty cancer."

"Yeah, well, as long as it doesn't wipe ME out, too," Jim mumbled, closing his eyes again.

Leah couldn't think of anything to say to that that wouldn't sound like a complete empty platitude, only gave his shoulder an encouraging pat before she left. As she went on with her day, though, she said a prayer that Jim would beat the odds. He was one of two patients on the floor that still had a fighting chance and his courage seemed to brighten his fellow sufferers, as well.


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks into her tenure on the cancer treatment floor, Leah had to admit Jim had her wrapped around his little finger. The man had managed to get her to tell the whole ugly story of her divorce and move to San Francisco to start over.

Jim was a good listener and only interrupted once to say what he thought of Leah's ex, which wasn't polite at all, but made her giggle and appreciate his support. He was hanging in there, despite the pain and uncertainty, always greeting her with a cheerful smile and goofy hat. (She still hadn't seen him wear the same one twice.)

She was chatting with the nurses briefly at their station one morning when a distinguished looking grey haired man in Starfleet dress uniform walked down the hall past them.

"Morning, everyone!" He greeted with a genial wave!

"Hello, Admiral!" Gaila replied happily. "Coming to see Jim?"

"Yes, ma'am. How is he today?"

"In good spirits, but still weak from his last treatment. He's really looking forward to seeing you, though," Gaila chirped.

Leah gaped as the Admiral continued to Jim's room. "As I live and breathe, the hero of earth just walked right past us!"

Pike had famously defeated the deranged Romulan Nero who'd nearly destroyed earth in a scheme of misplaced revenge. He was Jim's godfather? Wow! Talk about friends in high places.

Chekov chuckled at her astonishment.

"Do not look so surprised, Doktor. Ze Admiral and Jim's father were good friends and he himself is like another father to our Mr. Sunshine."

"Well, I'm glad Jim has somebody to visit him. It's hard to believe a chatty fellow like him doesn't have oodles of friends," Leah observed, thinking about Jim's extremely social personality.

"He does have friends-they just happen to be the doctors and nurses," piped up Christine.

"Yeah. He's really taken to you, Dr. McCoy. Jim's always asking when you're coming and wants to know how you're doing and if you've had a good day. I think he's got a crush on you," teased Gaila.

Leah rolled her eyes and hugged in annoyance. "I doubt he acts any different around me than you guys. He's just a natural charmer."

Christine smiled knowingly. "If you say so, Doctor."

Leah quickly departed to the next patient with much irritation, leaving the others to their ridiculous nonsense.

"So, Jim, I see you've got high and mighty admirals visiting you," she said upon entering his room that afternoon. But her next words died in her throat when her eyes fell on the purple top hat Jim had on. Jim giggled helplessly at her bug-eyed expression, shaking uncontrollably with his amusement.

"What are you today, Willy Wonka?" She finally asked, still unable to take her eyes off of the eyesore on his head.

"As a matter of fact, I am. Good eye, Bones."

Jim looked entirely too pleased with himself until Leah brought out the required hypos, which brought out a pouty face.

"Don't be so melodramatic," she sighed, gently pressing it against his neck and releasing the contents. "It's not like it's a giant needle like the archaic things they used a century ago."

Jim shuddered. "I'm glad I wasn't alive then. It's a nuisance enough as it is."

She shook her head and changed topic to distract him. "How was your visit with the Admiral? Must be pretty cool to have a badass hero as your godfather?" Hiss went the second hypospray.

"It was great," Jim recounted, leaning back in bed carefully, mindful of jarring his back. "He says they're planning a five year mission for the Enterprise to explore deep space. It's going to be historical, Bones! I would give anything to have had the chance to go out there in the black."

He looked out the window wistfully towards the skyline where the buildings of Starfleet Academy and Headquarters could be seen in the distance.

"I bet you would have made a good captain, too," Leah said sympathetically. "It's aggravating how life goes, isn't it?"

"You can say that again," Jim said, looking down at his legs with irritation.

"Do you have any sensation in them at all anymore?" She asked gently.

"Only an occasional twinge," he admitted, rubbing the appendages ruefully. "A couple of months ago I could still wiggle my toes and move around a little, but that was before it started growing again." He sighed and adjusted his top hat.

Leah smiled, despite herself. "How many hats do you have?" She still hadn't seen him wear the same one twice, except for his "cozy hat" post-chemo.

"Sixty-eight and counting," Jim said proudly. "I have the collection in a box in the closet. If I ever get out of here, I'm totally keeping them."

"Hmmm. More power to ya, Jim. I'd personally burn that Donald Duck number you wore the other day. Looked like you belonged in the psych ward," she grumbled.

"Bones!" Jim gasped in feigned hurt. "How dare you insult The Lucky Ducky? Joanna loves that one!"

"She's six years old, Jim. Of course she loves it. I knew you two starting a correspondence was a bad idea."

She'd let Joanna write a letter to Jim and of course, he'd replied, in a friendly, funny style which made her daughter's year. They'd proceeded to swap pictures and become devoted pen pals, even though they had yet to meet in person.

Jim was hoping for a visit, but Joanna had been sick recently and there was no way Bones was exposing someone with no immune system to her daughter's cold. But she told Jim once Jo was better, she'd see what she could do. He'd beamed at her again and her heart jumped at the sight.

"You know, Bones, I once thought about having kids one day," he said wistfully. "But it had to be with just the right person, and I wasn't really good at maintaining relationships before."

"Before you got sick?" She prodded.

"Yeah", Jim said quietly, looking up at the window. "Now, I really wish I'd hung around the quality people more. Party friends don't tend to stick around when things get tough."

"The Right Person is key, Jim. Otherwise, when things fall apart, the child becomes an unwitting pawn in the conflict. That's what happened with Jo, and I still kick myself about it." Leah admitted, bustling about him with the usual hypo and gently administering it.

"It's kind of too late for me now," he observed, taking off the top hat and revealing his bald head, which he proceeded to rub with an expression of annoyance.

"I'm sick, bald, and crippled. I've come to accept family life won't happen for me. But I do know who I wish was the right person."

"Oh, really?"

Now this was a surprising revelation. Was Jim in love? How was that possible when he said he had few friends? Why did that thought bug her? Whoever it was better be kind to him or she'd hear about it from Leah and Christine and Pavel and Gaila...

"Who's that, Jim?" she ventured to ask.

He grinned at her and clapped his hat back into place.

"That's classified, Bones." He then drove her nuts whistling show tunes until she departed, groaning in despair.


	3. Chapter 3

"Jim, I've got a visitor to see you."

Jim's head popped up at the sound of Leah's voice and he turned of the holovid he was watching to greet the young girl standing at the foot of his bed.

"Joanna! Glad to finally meet you!

You all better now?" He was wearing a spiffy fedora today that was actually very flattering, Leah thought as Joanna presented him with her gift of a new hat for his collection.

"Yes, I'm all better, Mr. Jim, and I brought you a present."

She held out the hat and Jim examined it with interest. "Grandma made it. I told her your head was cold and you liked hats."

"It's beautiful," Jim said and he was right. The hat was handknit with light blue yarn and Jim's name was embroidered on the front along with various planets and rocket ships. "Your mom made this?" He asked Leah.

"You betcha," she confirmed with a smile. "Mom's great at that and since Jo's been talking about you, she decided to contribute to the hat stockpile."

"I'll have to send her a thank you note," Jim said happily. "Sounds like a sweet lady."

"She is," Leah agreed. Eleanor had a huge heart and there weren't many people who'd met her who didn't love her. If she saw Jim and heard his sad story, she'd want to mother him instantly because goodness knows Jim hadn't had much of that in his life.

Jim and Joanna had a delightful visit and she was reluctant to leave when Leah told her it was time to go. "Get better now, Mr. Jim, so you can come over to my house and meet Grandma."

"I'll do my best," he promised solemnly.

That night, Joanna asked Leah the hard question: "Is Mr. Jim going to die? He said his legs don't work anymore."

Leah hugged her daughter close, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

"I can't say for certain yet, honey, but we're doing our best to make sure he doesn't."

It was the only thing she could say that wouldn't be a lie. There seemed to be progress with the latest treatments, but the tumor was worrisome.

She didn't see Jim again for four days, being busy with two especially critical patients, one of whom was close to death.

But she caught a snippet of conversation one day that was rather illuminating. She was about to go off shift and stopped by Jim's door to say goodbye when she heard Gaila's lively voice speaking.

"Now Jim, when are you going to tell Dr. McCoy you like her? I've seen how you get when she's here: all excited and antsy. You're totally smitten!" There was a gentle thunk as she set down his dinner tray in front of him.

"How could I?" Jim said dejectedly. "Why would she be interested in some sick guy who'll probably be dead in a couple years? Plus, even if she was into me, It could get her in trouble, since I'm one of her patients. No, Gaila, it's better this way, trust me. I don't want to make her life harder than it already is."

Leah crept on, feeling confused, sad, and yet, strangely happy also. Who wouldn't like to be loved by Jim Kirk?

His words showed He clearly cared more about her well-being than his own happiness, which was a neon sign screaming "I love You!"

The impossibility of the situation had her torn inside. Jim wouldn't be her patient forever, because Uhura would be back, but if she allowed herself to give in to the blossoming feelings she now knew she had for him, if could lead to

more pain-for herself and Jo.

She was so agitated, she forgot to go back to Jim to say goodnight.

Jim was wasn't doing well when she came in two days later to check up on him.

He had his cozy hat on and was clearly miserable.

"Where've you been, Bones?" Jim murmured faintly, cracking open one blue eye a tiny slit. "Missed you."

"Been busy, Jim. I do have other patients to look after, you know," she said lightly, worried about the high temperature readings she was getting.

"I have good news and bad news for you."

"Tell me the bad news first, please," he breathed, dread causing his thin arm to clench up.

Leah gathered herself to tell him the hard news. "I'm afraid your friend Kevin passed away last night."

Jim shut his eyes again and bit his lip. After a few moments of a silent struggle with emotion, he was able to speak again, albeit with voice quivering.

"I had a feeling it would happen soon," he admitted. "He'd already made it three months longer than the doctors gave him. Kevin and I made a pact we'd make the predictions look silly, because we like to prove them wrong. He was a good guy. You think he suffered much?"

"No, he didn't, Jim. It was pretty painless. He died in his sleep." Leah rubbed a soothing pattern on Jim's arm with her gloved hand. "I'm sorry you lost your friend."

"I bet you hate that part of your job-telling people their friends or family didn't make it. You seem to take things like that pretty hard."

Jim was now looking at her very perceptively, blue eyes all the way open in sympathy.

"True," Leah slowly admitted. "I always take it badly losing a patient and dread seeing faces crumpling with grief when I inform the deceased's next of kin, but in cases like Kevin, they've had time to process it and prepare and there's less of a...rawness about it. Kevin's mom was very thankful that you helped him by giving him a friendly face to brighten his last weeks."

"It was the least I could do," Jim said, "He was discouraged and needed a friend. I didn't have many visitors myself so I had to find friends in here or go crazy with boredom."

"You have a bit of a fever, Jim. I'm going to give you something for it and make sure Gaila and Christine keep a close watch. Getting sick is the last thing you need right now."

Jim chuckled weakly. "So that's why I feel so rough. But you forgot to tell me the good news."

"How negligent of me," she drawled, a hint of a smile breaking through her worry.

"The good news is that the latest drug you've been getting in chemo is shrinking the cancer. Spock looked pleased by your last scans."

Which was saying a lot, because the Vulcan tended to have no expression at all or a slight furrowing between his eyebrows that signaled he was not satisfied with something he saw.

"That's...cool, I guess." Jim didn't look very excited, which told of many false hopes dashed before.

"Hang in there, Jim," Leah encouraged. "There's a chance they might be able to take your tumor out if this continues."

Jim was too distracted by his sadness for Kevin and his effort to conceal his longing for Leah to do more than give a half smile and thumbs up. He wished he could hold someone's hands without them having to wear gloves. He fixed his gaze on Joanna's picture on the wall and imagined himself on the Enterprise, far away from earth and his troubles.


	4. Chapter 4

Leah watched Jim extra carefully the next week to make sure his fever was under control. He had been quiet and restless after Kevin's death, wearing a simple black beret every day since. It seemed to be his way of showing respect to his friend, as he couldn't go to the funeral.

She didn't know whether to be sad or relieved that Uhura was coming back in two weeks and she casually mentioned it to Jim as she went through the usual routine with him.

"You mean I won't see you anymore, Bones?" He asked dolefully, face falling at the news.

"Not as your doctor, Jim. But if you'd like me to pay you a friendly visit, I'd be happy to. To be honest, I'd miss your ridiculously pretty face too much to stay away."

Jim's eyes grew wide at this admission and he perked up visibly.

"You like me, Bones," he said wonderingly and shyly. "And you think I'm pretty? Wow. You might not say that now if you'd seen me before I got sick."

He pointed towards a photo of himself and Admiral Pike taken a few years ago. Sure, Jim was physically better looking with a lean, muscular build and neatly trimmed brown hair, but his smile was cocky rather than kind and it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I'm still sayin' it Jim, because I see a handsomeness about you that wasn't there four years ago. It's in your spirit."

She gently tapped the area over his heart to make her point and Jim grabbed her hand and held it for a moment, blue eyes looking very hopeful.

"That's...incredibly sweet that you'd think that. Honestly, I was a jerk back then and you wouldn't have wanted to be around me at all."

"Well, you've grown Jim." Leah said, gently squeezing back before she pulled away. "And there's not a doctor, nurse, or patient here who's not rooting for you."

She thought Jim looked at her differently, confirming what she'd overhead him telling Gaila, but he didn't say anything of his interest, clearly biding his time.

Leah found herself anticipating the moment, even though her rational side said to slow down and be cautious.

The days passed and they continued their routine of friendly banter and discussions of Joanna's accomplishments.

Jim was just feeling better again after his latest chemo when things came to a head.

Leah was met by a grim faced Chapel, who pulled her aside as she went to check on her first patient.

"Dr, Jim's fever spiked badly overnight and he's been moved to ICU. He's got an infection of some kind and they're running tests to see where it is. Spock's been called in now, so it might be related to the tumor."

Leah's heart was in her throat as she continued on her rounds, knowing it was out of her hands unless they asked for her.

"Doc," Gaila called out, "Jim wants you."

Instantly she was heading towards ICU at a fast pace, pumping the nurse for info.

"He's conscious?"

"For now. All I know is there's an infection and Spock is talking to surgeons very seriously. He wants your input."

She nodded, fear for Jim increasing every second. If they were talking surgery, it must be bad.

Shortly, she met the serious face of Spock in all his white coated glory, the furrow between his slanted brows prominent, which meant he was worried.

"Spock, what's going on?" She urgently asked.

"Jim's tumor is causing a serious infection. If not removed, it will be fatal."

"It's not small enough to do that without damaging the spine and paralyzing him!" She realized out loud.

"I am aware, but it has reached an extent to which it will be fatal to him if we do not remove it. If the infection had been noticeable much earlier, we would have avoided this unfortunate decision."

Leah mentally kicked herself for not seeing it, wracking her brain trying to think how she could have missed it and failing utterly.

"Well, do you think he'll survive the surgery?"

"Yes, I do, but he needs to be aware of the likely consequences."

Leah nodded. "I'll tell him, Spock.

She moved to Jim's bedside and took hold of his hand. He felt so hot, her heart sank.

"Jim," she said, trying for her usual gruff humor, "is anybody home in there or are you out to lunch?"

After a moment she saw his lips curve upward in a smile.

"I'm here, Bones," he whispered. "Feel terrible, though. Do they know what's wrong?"

"Your tumor's causing a serious infection, Jim. They're going to have to take it out."

"Why are you so nervous about it? You look scared, Bones." He was looking at her with his blue eyes dull with pain and fever.

"If they take it out now, Jim," she warned, "There's a 90% chance you'll never walk again because it's still so close around your spine and they can't remove it now without causing damage."

"Oh," Jim said in a small voice, gulping visibly and looking sad and then the determined look came back as he set his firm jaw.

"I'll die if it stays in, right?"

She nodded. "Most likely."

"Nobody said I couldn't be in the 10% full recovery chance. I'll do whatever I can to be there. Kirks don't go down without a fight."

Jim stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought, then he looked back at Leah with that desperate longing again. He bit his lip and she wondered what he was thinking.

"Tell them to do it, Bones." He rasped finally. "But I want you in there."

She nodded. "Okay, Jim."

Impulsively, she leaned down and kissed his sweaty forehead, causing Jim to smile again.

"Don't you dare die on me, now!" She admonished, before they started the prep.

"Course not, Bones. I'm gonna get all better then ask you out on a date, legs or no legs."

He was probably getting delirious or high on drugs, but Leah appreciated the sentiment anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

The surgery was a risky business, but thanks to Spock and the expertise of the surgeons, Jim made it through the four hour procedure alive.

Leah was exhausted when she went home to Joanna that night. She hoped Jim didn't regret his decision when faced with the reality in the morning, but already, he was improving.

"What's wrong, Mama?" She asked innocently, seeing her mother's stress.

Leah sat down beside her and hugged Joanna close.

"Mr. Jim had to have surgery today and I'm worried about him."

"Is he going to live?" the little girl pressed. "I don't want Mr. Jim to die."

"Neither do I sweetheart," Leah said through the lump in her throat.

"But Jim's going to make it. He's strong and determined."

"I'll have to make him some more pictures, to help him feel better. Surgery hurts, doesn't it?"

"It sure does, sweetie." Leah was thankful for regenerator technology that would make Jim's healing much quicker and smoother then it would have been a century ago, but yes, pain was still involved.

The next day, Uhura was going to be back and Jim was out of her care for good, but she had a feeling he was in her life to stay.

"Dr. Uhura! Good to see you back! You enjoy your leave?"

"Very much," smiled the new mother. Leah noted she looked tired, but had an unmistakable glow about her.

"It's been such a sweet time bonding with my baby girl, I'm so thankful you were able to step in, Dr. McCoy."

"No problem. It's very interesting, working around people that are in the last stages of life, some of them have completely given up hope and others are just angry all the time, but Jim Kirk is just a persistent ray of sunshine in 296 and it's unfathomable."

"You fell under his spell, too?" Uhura asked with a knowing grin.

"He's a delight when he's not being a devilish flirt."

"Yeah. He's something else all right. All those goofy hats of his and his ridiculous no such thing as a no win scenario attitude. He's even good with kids! He and Jo struck up a correspondence and he wrote her the nicest letters. She adores him, too."

She stopped gushing, a little embarrassed with herself for getting so carried away.

"That sounds like him," Uhura commented. "Spock's been pretty concerned about him, though. Have you seen him since the surgery?"

"Nope. I got here early so I could pop in for a visit before I go back to the pediatrics floor," Leah admitted.

"Well, tell him I said hi, and I hope he'll be back to his regular room, soon. My nurses miss him."

Leah was sure that was an understatement.

Jim was blinking groggily when she crept in, but had another weird hat on, which meant he was in fairly good spirits.

"What in the world is that monstrosity?" She blurted, taken aback by the amount of fur on his head.

"Oh, hey, Bones," Jim beamed and waved a hand weakly. "This is a Russian fur hat. Chekov gave it to me. He says warm hats were invented in Russia and I tend to agree with him. It's even better than my cozy hat."

She shook her head. "Well, if you're going on a polar expedition or a trip to Andor I suppose it's the height of fashion. But if it keeps you warm, I'll try to contain my mirth. I see your fever's gone down."

"Yeah. But I'm still numb and it's weird. Spock told me it was more difficult than they thought, and It's more like 99% certain I'm in a wheelchair the rest of my life."

"I'm so sorry, Jim," Leah said gently. "I know this must be a blow to your hopes."

"It is, but I'll live," he sighed. Once they've wiped out the rest of the cancer, I can finally have a life again and since you're not my doctor anymore I can tell you you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."

Leah blushed from the sheer tone of his voice: awestruck and tender with a genuine admiration that made it the sweetest compliment she'd heard from any man, even the ex.

"Well, Jim, I'm flattered, but I really can't touch you in the gorgeous eyes category. Are you sure you're human?"

He laughed, said eyes crinkling in mirth.

"I'm afraid so. But seriously, that green-gold color is really stunning. I've had dreams about them."

"Wow," said Leah, quite taken aback. "Here, I thought they were more like pond water all this time."

She drew a deep breath.

"Much as I enjoy your smooth talk, I have to go now and start my actual shift. You keep healing up, you hear?"

She squeezed his hand and tried not to laugh again at how ridiculous he looked in that hat.

"I will, Bones. I refuse to spend the rest of my life in a hospital. I have places to go, pretty doctors to woo...you know, important stuff. Have a good day, Bones."

"Thanks, you blue-eyed menace," she replied, torn between laughing and crying.

She went her way, knowing now her heart was in serious danger of being captured by said menace.

Leah was kept very busy the next several days, but she always took time to see Jim, even if it was just five minutes.

Already, he looked much more at ease, without the near constant back pain that had plagued him so long because of the tumor.

He was moved back to room 296 once the doctors deemed him recovered from the infection completely.

The holiday rush started and Leah was even busier, with all the bizarre accidents that happened during December.

Jim, of course, wore a Santa Hat the whole month and was wheeled around reading stories to his fellow patients.

Leah heard him singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" to a young girl one evening and cried herself to sleep that night remembering little Ana's face as Jim sang to her.

She'd never wanted more for their troubles to be out of sight.

So, having been informed that Jim's birthday was Jan. 4th, she set about to provide him with a celebration and after consulting with Uhura, Pike, and the nurses, Leah arranged a surprise for Jim.

To her dying days, she'd always declare she'd never forget Jim's face when he was wheeled into a room and all his friends were gathered there yelling "Happy Birthday!"

A delectable looking cake, frosted with a starship design, stood waiting on the table nearby and a large party hat with "birthday boy" was handed to the stunned-looking Jim.

"Wow! This is beyond amazing, you guys!" He said when he'd recovered his power of speech.

"You plan this, Gaila?"

"I helped, but the idea was Dr. McCoy's." She grinned toward Leah, who was trying to deflect.

Jim looked up at Leah with an expression that was nothing less than adoring and her heart outright skipped a beat.

"Bones, someday I'm going to properly thank you for this. It's been a long time since I've celebrated my birthday. In fact, deep down, I thought last year's would be my last."

Leah was so flustered by the way he said "properly thanked", that she just smiled and blushed.

"Rest assured Jim, that won't happen on our watch," said Uhura, smiling tearfully as Jim affixed his party hat on his head.

Jim certainly seemed to enjoy himself, judging by the myriad of smiles and laughter coming from him.

He'd been gleefully reunited with Joanna and the two of them talked nonstop until their attention was diverted by the cake.

Everybody warbled "Happy Birthday" to the slightly pink Jim who blew out all the candles in one breath.

"That means your wish will come true!" Cheered Gaila. "I hope you made one, Jimmy.

"Of course," he replied, looking like the cat that ate the canary. "But I'm not telling you what it was."

He stared at Leah and winked audaciously, making her hot all over.

After they'd sampled the cake and pronounced it delicious, Jim was presented with his gifts, which were mostly crazy hats for his collection.

Joanna insisted he model each one while Chekov took pictures.

As Leah looked on in high amusement, she was joined by Admiral Pike.

"You've done a great job boosting Jim's spirits, Dr. McCoy. He talks non stop about how amazing you are. Great job coming up with this. He hasn't had a lot of happy birthdays in his life."

"I gathered that, Admiral and it's a rotten shame," Leah said honestly. "Who would not want to celebrate Jim?"

"Unfortunately, most people remember his birthday as the day George Kirk died, rather than the day Jim was born. He's felt guilty about it most of his life. Personally, I'm thankful he's still around to have one."

"Me too, Admiral," Leah agreed, grinning as Jim clowned in an Angry Birds hat.

"I suspect there's more going on where he's concerned, though."

"In what way?" She asked, wondering if the shrewd admiral had guessed about Jim's crush-or hers.

"I've seen the looks you've been giving each other on the sly. Jim's never looked so smitten with anyone before. Should I be concerned?"

"If you mean will anybody get their heart broken? Not if I can help it. Goodness knows why he got so attached to me, but I don't seem to want to put a stop to it, even though he's still got a ways to go to be in the clear."

"Jim has that effect on people," admitted Pike. "I want him to be able to live a life outside of the hospital finally and if you were part of it, all the better."

"He'll have a lot to deal with, adjusting to the wheelchair being a permanent reality and the changes that will take. Romance might make that more difficult."

"Jim hasn't walked in a year, Doctor," noted Pike. "I think his stubborn personality is too resilient to let the paralysis wreck him. He's sad he won't be able to be a Starship captain, but I found a possible career for him that will give him a purpose again."

"That's great!" Leah said, hope rising in her heart. Jim could live a (mostly) regular life again, once the cancer was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

Putting a sleepy Jim to bed was a job usually done by the nurses, but Leah insisted on helping them out.

"You know, Bones, I think I might love you," he confided as he was settled back in his room, one hand grabbing hers.

"You just made my whole year, today. I think I like birthdays now."

Leah's heart was racing, but she simply laced her fingers with his and said "That's good, because you WILL have many more of them, James Tiberius. Goodnight now, you puppy-eyed goofball."

"Night, Bones," Jim said softly, blue eyes following her out of the room. She left with the "think I might love you" ringing in her ears. Leah was pretty sure she loved Jim, too.

The months passed and Jim continued to improve with further treatments. He still hated them, but wasn't so discouraged afterwards because they were making progress now. The cancer was retreating and Spock was looking very satisfied with Jim's scans.

Leah still visited when she could and one day she saw Jim sketching something on a screen and was curious.

"What're you drawing Jim?" She'd asked curiously. This wasn't something she'd seen him doing before and wondered when he'd taken up art.

"Just some ideas I've been thinking about," he said vaguely, putting down the PADD and stretching. He'd been working on strength exercises for his upper body recently and it was starting to pay off. His thin arms were starting to fill out and gain some muscle.

"Oh, secret ideas?" She prodded, trying to sneak a peek.

"For right now," Jim said sheepishly. "I don't want to say anything before I know if they're feasible or not. I've got to ask Pike and Scotty about them first."

"You started making plans for life outside the hospital?" She asked, changing the subject smoothly.

"A little," Jim smiled. "I'll have to search for a ground floor dwelling within a reasonable distance of the academy."

"Why there?" she asked, surprised.

"Because, I've decided to join Starfleet, Bones."

Leah gaped in shock. "I thought you'd given up that idea."

"On being a captain, yes. But Starfleet has plenty of options for research and development on various colonies and certain ships are equipped for those with physical limitations. Chris said my brain is invaluable and he gave me a whole list of reasons why I could join. Didn't take much convincing.

You're not upset, are you?" He asked, looking worried at her somewhat flat expression.

"No, I'm I'm selfishly reacting to the possibility that you might end up on some backwater planet colony for long stretches of time. You'll be great in Starfleet, Jim."

Jim wasn't fooled and he grabbed her hands and turned serious.

"That's four years away, three if I really want to double up. Besides, You do know I love you and wouldn't take a long term posting away from you and Jo, right?"

"I thought you were kind of joking when you said it after the party," Leah admitted nervously.

"Oh, Bones," sighed Jim. "Well, let me spell it out clearly for you. I fell for you after you'd been here a week. It surprised me, because I never expected to be in love, but man, your big ole grumpy southern heart and your extremely pretty face are completely irresistible."

He clasped a hand over his heart.

"I'm totally smitten with you, Bones. It's totally understandable if you don't feel the same way, given the circumstances," (he wrinkled his nose at his legs), "but I had to tell you."

"Jim," Leah said softly, "You Idiot. It's your big heart that's the best part of you! If you had no legs at all, I'd still have fallen in love with you. A lot of men could learn from you about how to win hearts with those sappy smiles and infuriatingly pretty eyes. Plus, you're amazing with Joanna which is a very important requirement for me to attempt romance again. I have two hearts to watch out for and it seems you've stolen both of them."

"I have?" He asked hopefully.

"You sure have, darlin'" she whispered back before kissing him on those plush lips.


	7. Chapter 7

Four years later

Leah and Joanna were watching a long line of red-clad cadets receiving their diplomas at Starfleet Graduation. Joanna was bursting with impatience to see her "Daddy Jim".

"How long until Daddy, Mama?" She asked eagerly, craning her neck to see if she could spot him.

"Not long, Jo," she answered, glowing with pride herself. She could see Jim's chair on the end of a row of seats and knew there were only six or so cadets left before they called her husband's name.

It was amazing how he'd gone after his new dream with everything he had. He'd even finished a year ahead of schedule, in fact.

Jim had studied design and engineering and was going to live out his dream of making starships safer and more accommodating to those with physical challenges like his.

Leah had no doubt with his determination and brilliant mind, he'd revolutionize Starfleet. He'd beat cancer, after all. This would be small potatoes to him.

"James Tiberius Kirk" called the Admiral and Leah gave Jo a boost on her lap so they could see Jim rolling up smoothly and collecting his diploma and being congratulated. He ended up receiving a standing ovation from the adoring audience gathered there and returned to his place a little red-faced.

She thought he looked devastatingly handsome in those neat cadet reds, fine brown hair neatly combed and sitting straight as a rod beside his classmates.

When his hair started to grow back after he'd finished his chemo, it was definitely not blonde, but a decidedly medium brown color that gave him a different look, but she liked it.

He had less need for hats now, but he'd saved his collection and still wore a few occasionally. (Joanna made him wear the jester hat when he'd read her stories.)

He now brightened other patient's lives by donating cheery hats to the hospital for those who'd lost their hair.

Once he'd been released from the hospital, he'd moved in with Pike temporarily, until they could find a suitable place for him to live. Turned out, finding a ground floor apartment was next to impossible unless you had a million credits to spend.

For the first two years, the arrangement worked, Jim was enjoying his classes, growing stronger (those arms!) and rebuilding his life and health.

He and Leah were dating and flirting shamelessly, often causing Joanna to groan and flee upon catching her mother sitting in Jim's lap, shamelessly smooching him.

The relationship got some raised eyebrows from people who didn't know Jim very well.

"Isn't it a difficult relationship to have in addition to your job and raising a daughter?"

Leah would fight down her irritation and simply say "So's any relationship. Jim's far from helpless, and he's not a burden, if that's what you're implying. Have you seen the way he gets around? Smoother than I do, that's for sure."

She'd grin proudly as Jim zipped up beside her and proceeded to charm the pants off of the skeptics.

Soon enough, they were the talk of the academy, mostly positive, but certain bitter spurned suitors of Jim made spiteful comments about Leah's age and looks.

Rather than getting mad, Leah got even. After some Scheming with Jim, she contrived an excuse to bring him a "forgotten" PADD between classes, deliberately timing it on a day when she had a staff meeting and was dressed somewhat formally in sleek skirt and blouse. Now Leah was not one for "fuss and frippery" when it came to make up, but she knew what to do when it was called for besides having a devious streak that liked to throw people off.

During Jim's lunch break, she strutted in to the dining hall and made her way over to the table where he was currently sitting with some of the miscreants, pretending to enjoy himself.

"Hey, Jim," she greeted invitingly, "I believe you left this behind?" Pulling out the PADD, she held it out to him and the whole table stared, including Jim.

He'd been warned, but even he was clearly stunned by this version of Leah. He finally recovered himself and accepted the PADD.

"Thanks, babe. I was looking for this." (Wink, wink) "Wow. Everybody, this is Dr. Leah McCoy. She helped save my life and is a totally awesome person as well as my girlfriend."

Jim sounded rather proud and somewhat amused watching his classmates' confusion. Cadet Mitchell seemed especially confounded and Leah reveled in his dismay, knowing he was one of the worst.

"You take care, everyone. Have a nice day, darlin'" she added lowly for Jim's benefit, giving a quick peck for good measure before she departed with a wave.

Afterward, Jim reported that he was the envy of the room and no one made any more snide remarks.

"Dowdy old lady, my ass!" Leah thought smugly.

Just before his third year at the academy, Pike got a promotion and ended up getting ritzy new quarters that weren't workable for Jim. The student dorms were full and things were quite worrisome for some time before Leah came up with a solution-albeit a radical one.

She and Jim had just left the movie theatre after a ridiculous shoot em up western involving bank robbers and bloodthirsty sheriffs that made Jim squeal with manly glee, when Leah broached the subject.

"Jim, I've been thinking about us and our future a lot lately," she said feeling out how to ease into the subject.

"Oh? Jim asked, giving her a searching look. "Will I like what you're about to say?"

"Hopefully," Leah said rather breathlessly, as Jim maneuvered into his modified hover car. All the controls were operated by hand or voice so he could drive himself around and it was his pride and joy.

She ended up holding off until Jim was parked in front of her place, not wanting to make him lose concentration. Jim shut off the engine and looked at her expectantly.

"Jim," she began. "I know this might be a weird time to ask this, but I love you and I was wondering what you would say to...to...marrying me." She finished in a rush, unsure how he'd react.

Jim's blue eyes went wide and practically glimmered at her.

"Bones, are you proposing to me?" he spluttered out.

"Yep, I am." She admitted. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"It's okay if you need to think about it for awhile. I know this is kind of a surprise," Leah added quickly, not wanting to pressure him.

But Jim was beaming and had grabbed both of her hands.

"Course I'd like to marry you, Bones. You know I'm hopelessly in love with you. I'd actually thought of asking, but decided to give you more time. I wasn't sure if you'd want to after what that jerk did to you."

"I used to think that way-before I knew you, Jim darlin'" she confessed, relaxing and letting him kiss her hands. "You're not the type to run off and you genuinely care about people."

"Well, then, if Joanna's okay with it and you're all for it, I Accept, Bones."

Leah grinned and leaned in to kiss her blue-eyed menace.

"Just so you know, Jim," she whispered when they came up for air, "Jo's only indecision is whether to call you Papa or Daddy. She's never had anyone like that in her life before."

This caused Jim's eyes to well up with tears. "That's...wow...I'm honored, Bones. She's an amazing girl and I can certainly understand that longing for a dad. I hope I'll be a good one."

"You will, sugar, I'm pretty confidant of that," Leah assured him and swooped in to gently kiss a certain freckle on his neck just to see Jim blush like he always did.

So, during winter break from classes, Jim and Leah tied the knot in a simple but memorable ceremony in front of their closest friends and family.

Leah wore a simple white A-line gown with an added yellow sash for color.

Joanna was junior bridesmaid and wore a pretty yellow dress that matched Christine's, Gaila's, and Uhura's.

Jim was devastatingly handsome in his suit and looked up at Leah with love and joy shining in his bright eyes. Pike, Spock, and Chekov were his groomsman and two of them were beaming almost as brightly as the groom. Spock wasn't one to smile, but Leah was pretty sure his eyes were.

Four year old Amanda was flower girl and made quite the sensation when she appeared behind Joanna, solemnly dropping petals. There was no doubt about including her in the festivities; after all, her very presence had been the catalyst for bringing Jim and Leah together and Uhura made no secret of her pride in making the match.

During the vows, Leah opted to sit facing Jim so they could be on eye level and hold hands easier. She spoke the line "in sickness and in health" especially intently so Jim would understand she was in this for life and wasn't running off if his cancer came back. Before she knew it, it was over and Jim rolled forward a little and kissed her tenderly.

Everyone in the wedding party cheered or cried for joy, pausing in their long celebration to pose for photos using Jim's hat collection.

Jim grinned and roared with mirth at Spock in an elf hat and Uhura in a Wizard's cap, thoroughly enjoying celebrating the wedding in a way that made everyone think of the Sunshine. Only now, he wasn't confined to room 296 anymore.

Now, six months after welcoming him into their family, Leah and Jo made their way across the large room to congratulate the new graduate.

When they got his attention, Jim's eyes lit up and he started wheeling their way.

"Bones! Jo!" He exclaimed. "There you are! It's so hard to find anyone in this mob."

"Yeah, there's quite a few tender feet young space explorers around here," agreed Leah, glancing at the throng of red around them.

"So much space, so little time," Jim said thoughtfully. "I never thought I'd make it this far, Bones." He looked down at the diploma in his lap and back at his two favorite ladies. "Or end up so happy." He clutched Leah's hand in his, and accepted Joanna's hug with the other.

"Well, you earned it, Sunshine," Leah told him. "Now, lets go out and enjoy it by indulging in artery-clogging fast food."

"Now you're speaking my language Bones!" Jim declared eagerly. "Burger time!"

He and Jo high-fived and they headed out to do what families did.


End file.
